Lighting the WICK of Sports

By Professor Mike Honcho

Welcome to the second week of Varsity College. My name is Professor Mike Honcho. Last week two people failed my class and only one person was successful and will be attending class this week. Give it up for Coach Mike Shanahan of the Denver Broncos. Before I start my A period class I would like Mike to step out into the hallway. This past week, Mike didn’t complete his assignments and his efforts were reflected by Denver’s embarrassing loss in last week’s game against the Raiders. Hopefully Coach did his homework this week to prepare for Brett and the rolling Jets. Attention class, Plaxico Burress will no longer be attending Varsity College due to a severe injury. He shot himself in the leg and will be recovering while on trial, so let's make him a get well card.

A Period:
Lesson: How to get your team out of salary cap Hell and set franchise records in scoring.
Donnie Walsh is showing Knicks fans why he is one of the brightest team Presidents in the NBA. Early last week Walsh decided to trade away the Knicks two most expensive players. Jamal Crawford and Zack Randolph were the Knicks key offensive weapons and helped New York stay a competitive team early in the season. The only downside to Crawford and Randolph was the amount of money they were making. Their salaries combine cost more than 23 million dollars. Although Crawford puts up great numbers he has never played for a winning team and is not the type of solid player that you can build a franchise around. He has great ball handling skills but can be a streaky shooter and can not play defense. Jamal Crawford playing defense is equivalent to Yao Ming taking three pointers. On the other hand Zack Randolph has the tendency to ruin team chemistry. Although he kept out of trouble in New York something was bound to happen. In return for Crawford and Randolph the Knicks signed Al Harrington, Tim Thomas, and Cuttino Mobley. Al Harrington has the size and athleticism to post a double double every time he steps out onto the court and Tim Thomas is one of the better defensive veterans in the NBA. Cuttino is a great shooter but is fairly old and has reoccurring health issues. Now that the Knicks have some salary cap “wiggle room”, they can look forward to next year’s class of free agents which includes LeBron James. Saturday night the new look Knicks set a franchise record by scoring 82 first half points. This was the Knick’s best first half showing in their team history. Chris Duhon also set a franchise record by racking up 22 assists in the game. I give Donnie Welsh and everyone involve with the Knick’s organization an “A” this week.

B Period:
Lesson: Making a name for yourself!
People don’t realize how important RPI ratings are in college basketball. The RPI rating allows coaches, sports writers, and analysts to rank teams based upon their strength of schedule and how a team performs against their schedule. The better teams you play the higher RPI rating you will receive. The Providence College Friars and the Rhode Island Rams are very different this year in many aspects. URI has a go to scorer and PC doesn’t. URI has an effective center and the Friars are struggling down low. What sets the Rams apart from the Friars this year is their schedule. Rhody’s non conference schedule includes teams such as 7th ranked Duke, 20th ranked Villanova, a solid Virginia Commonwealth squad and Penn State who holds a 6-1 record. Before heading over to California to play in the 76 classic, PC’s strongest opponent was Northeastern. Northeastern currently holds a 3-3 record. Aside form Northeastern, the Friars registered wins against teams that have little or no impact on RPI ratings. The Friars managed to beat Maine, Dartmouth, and Sacred Heart, but those three games have no bearing on Providence’s image as a basketball team. PC’s first true opponent was Baylor. The Baylor bears have an All-American, are undefeated, and have received 170 votes to be in the top 25. Providence shot under 21% from the field against Baylor in a game that seemed t sum up the type of year its going to be like for the Providence College Friars. After a win over yet another weak team (Charlotte) the Friars look to face St. Mary’s who have received 120 votes in the AP poll. The Friars need to win this game so they can make a name for themselves, before they host their instate rival, URI, next weekend. The Friars fail this week but have a chance to makeup for their poor test average.

C Period:
Lesson: How to have an NFL tradition taken away from you.
The 2008-2009 Detroit Lions could be the worst team in the history of the NFL, and say that with all seriousness. With a makeshift head coach, a new team president, and a starting quarterback who came out of retirement, the Lions have nothing rolling in their direction. This past Thursday was an embarrassment to all Lion’s fans. Detroit was blow out 47-10 by arguably the best team in the NFL. Playing on Thanksgiving is a tradition in the NFL that should be cherished and respected. After the past few seasons, watching Detroit play on Thanksgiving is nothing more than a waist of time. Many of the announcers covering the game stated that if Detroit continues to play the way have been over the past few seasons, their right to play on Thanksgiving could be taken away. Detroit receives an “F” in this week’s class and for the rest of the season. Their academic scholarship has been revoked and they must transfer to a different school by next week. Calvin Johnson can stay.

For Homework:
1. Do not watch any college football bowl games; instead take a walk and get some fresh air.
2. Write a five page paper on whether or not the Knicks should have kept Crawford and Randolph purely to push for a low seed playoff birth.
3. Attend your school’s basketball games; school spirit creates home court advantage.