Because You're Too Lazy To

This week was exactly the reason why I write this article. There was absolutely no coverage on East Greenwich going to Nike Cross Nationals. Instead they find it necessary to fill the entire sports section with a losing football team. I feel that xc is a harder and more physically overwhelming sport then people put it out to be. Yeah we run, that's not it. We go at different paces, different courses and push our bodies to where sometimes they shouldn't be pushed. Sure some of you are about ready to skip to the next article because you're saying to yourself "I hate it when he talks about running, that's all he ever talks about." Well part of that is true and the other isn't, if no one's going to then I will. I'll say it and say running track and cross country can be the hardest sport you'll ever do, if you train hard and train right. I know everyone can jog but people who are into running and take it seriously then it's not so easy. I would like to compliment Paul S. the sports editor for the Pendulum for another excellent story to the losing football team.
No new news this week other then Mark Feigen was announced top 50 harriers in the country. Andrew Springer (Westerly) is running Footlocker Championships next Saturday.

Read the latest Whitlock article for marble journal entry

http://msn.foxsports.com/nhl/story/8888964

From Mr. Brocato

Who’s Hot	Who’s Cold
Lasalle Football- This is proving to be lasalle’s year for football facing NK in the semi-final’s under the lights at home and Lasalle ended up winning tonight 40-21. Only one team has come close to beating lasalle which was Portsmouth by 7 points. The last time Lasalle faced NK this season resulted in Lasalle victory by 14 points.	Cumberland Football- Facing the toughest competition in the semi-finals (Tolman) this team is the Cinderella story from division IIb where they finished fourth with a 3-4 record. This team lucked their way into this match upsetting west warwick and lost by a large margin 29-0 to tolman who finished first in division IIa.
Matt Brown- A Barrington resident who a attends a Massachusetts prep school for basketball and football is the next sports prodigy out of Rhode Island. He is facing the decision where he could play both in college where he is being recruited by top schools this should be followed closely for he could be the next Joe Mazzulla, Rocco Baldelli, or Joey Hassett.	Ryan Westmoreland- The Rhode Islander who was drafted by the Sox last year is now out 4 to 6 months due to shoulder surgery. He will have to sit out in hopes to repair his torn labrum in his right shoulder. He was playing instructional ball in the Dominican republic when he was directed to get surgery they said he is fine just resting so that he can get back on the field.

RYAN'S RANTS

What Grinds My Gears

You know what really grinds my gears?

-NASCAR. How are NASCAR drivers even mentioned in the same conversations as athletes like Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, Tiger Woods, and Tom Brady? At least golf is a sport so Tiger can be mentioned in the same sentence as the others, but NASCAR? In what way is NASCAR a sport? Machines do all the work, the drivers are not athletes at all. I’m not saying that I could win the Indy 500 or anything, but it’s driving a car. The competition in that field is incredible, there is a lot that goes into winning a NASCAR race, but it’s a race not a sport. I don’t want to hear Jimmie Johnson being mentioned as the athlete of the year for winning his third consecutive Cup Series Championship, just call him the NASCAR driver of the year.

-College Football Defenses. I’m all in favor of watching exciting games but how come every game involves a score over 50 points. The Oklahoma Sooners have scored over 60 points in their last three games. The most recent game had a score of 61-41 against Oklahoma State. These are the best kinds of games to watch but it makes me wonder… where are all of the defensive prospects going to come from? Will this be a weak NFL draft for defensive players or does each college team have a few great players on the defensive side of the ball but not enough depth around them to hold opposing offenses in check. This was the case for Boston College, whose linebacker group is one of the best in the country. They held Maryland to negative seven rushing yards for the game but the secondary was torched for 360 yards and 2 touchdowns. College football teams should stress open field tackling in every practice.

-Happy Ending Sport Movies. Every sports movie has the most predictable ending. If it’s a football movie, the team will be losing and getting banged around. Then there will be inspirational music playing as the clock winds down and they score the game winning touchdown. How many times do we have to see that? I would say that the best football movie is “Friday Night Lights” which is a true story and it involves them losing in the end. It was the most realistic football movie that I’ve seen. The best football player gets injured and tries to return to the field only to be injured so badly that he can never play football again for the rest of his life. They rally behind his backup and make it to the championship game only to lose to the better team. This gives some reassurance that football is not just a game of fairytales. Please, no more happy ending sports movies unless they are true stories that have to end in such a fashion, in which case I will just avoid.

Lighting the WICK of Sports

By Professor Mike Honcho

Welcome to the second week of Varsity College. My name is Professor Mike Honcho. Last week two people failed my class and only one person was successful and will be attending class this week. Give it up for Coach Mike Shanahan of the Denver Broncos. Before I start my A period class I would like Mike to step out into the hallway. This past week, Mike didn’t complete his assignments and his efforts were reflected by Denver’s embarrassing loss in last week’s game against the Raiders. Hopefully Coach did his homework this week to prepare for Brett and the rolling Jets. Attention class, Plaxico Burress will no longer be attending Varsity College due to a severe injury. He shot himself in the leg and will be recovering while on trial, so let's make him a get well card.

A Period:
Lesson: How to get your team out of salary cap Hell and set franchise records in scoring.
Donnie Walsh is showing Knicks fans why he is one of the brightest team Presidents in the NBA. Early last week Walsh decided to trade away the Knicks two most expensive players. Jamal Crawford and Zack Randolph were the Knicks key offensive weapons and helped New York stay a competitive team early in the season. The only downside to Crawford and Randolph was the amount of money they were making. Their salaries combine cost more than 23 million dollars. Although Crawford puts up great numbers he has never played for a winning team and is not the type of solid player that you can build a franchise around. He has great ball handling skills but can be a streaky shooter and can not play defense. Jamal Crawford playing defense is equivalent to Yao Ming taking three pointers. On the other hand Zack Randolph has the tendency to ruin team chemistry. Although he kept out of trouble in New York something was bound to happen. In return for Crawford and Randolph the Knicks signed Al Harrington, Tim Thomas, and Cuttino Mobley. Al Harrington has the size and athleticism to post a double double every time he steps out onto the court and Tim Thomas is one of the better defensive veterans in the NBA. Cuttino is a great shooter but is fairly old and has reoccurring health issues. Now that the Knicks have some salary cap “wiggle room”, they can look forward to next year’s class of free agents which includes LeBron James. Saturday night the new look Knicks set a franchise record by scoring 82 first half points. This was the Knick’s best first half showing in their team history. Chris Duhon also set a franchise record by racking up 22 assists in the game. I give Donnie Welsh and everyone involve with the Knick’s organization an “A” this week.

B Period:
Lesson: Making a name for yourself!
People don’t realize how important RPI ratings are in college basketball. The RPI rating allows coaches, sports writers, and analysts to rank teams based upon their strength of schedule and how a team performs against their schedule. The better teams you play the higher RPI rating you will receive. The Providence College Friars and the Rhode Island Rams are very different this year in many aspects. URI has a go to scorer and PC doesn’t. URI has an effective center and the Friars are struggling down low. What sets the Rams apart from the Friars this year is their schedule. Rhody’s non conference schedule includes teams such as 7th ranked Duke, 20th ranked Villanova, a solid Virginia Commonwealth squad and Penn State who holds a 6-1 record. Before heading over to California to play in the 76 classic, PC’s strongest opponent was Northeastern. Northeastern currently holds a 3-3 record. Aside form Northeastern, the Friars registered wins against teams that have little or no impact on RPI ratings. The Friars managed to beat Maine, Dartmouth, and Sacred Heart, but those three games have no bearing on Providence’s image as a basketball team. PC’s first true opponent was Baylor. The Baylor bears have an All-American, are undefeated, and have received 170 votes to be in the top 25. Providence shot under 21% from the field against Baylor in a game that seemed t sum up the type of year its going to be like for the Providence College Friars. After a win over yet another weak team (Charlotte) the Friars look to face St. Mary’s who have received 120 votes in the AP poll. The Friars need to win this game so they can make a name for themselves, before they host their instate rival, URI, next weekend. The Friars fail this week but have a chance to makeup for their poor test average.

C Period:
Lesson: How to have an NFL tradition taken away from you.
The 2008-2009 Detroit Lions could be the worst team in the history of the NFL, and say that with all seriousness. With a makeshift head coach, a new team president, and a starting quarterback who came out of retirement, the Lions have nothing rolling in their direction. This past Thursday was an embarrassment to all Lion’s fans. Detroit was blow out 47-10 by arguably the best team in the NFL. Playing on Thanksgiving is a tradition in the NFL that should be cherished and respected. After the past few seasons, watching Detroit play on Thanksgiving is nothing more than a waist of time. Many of the announcers covering the game stated that if Detroit continues to play the way have been over the past few seasons, their right to play on Thanksgiving could be taken away. Detroit receives an “F” in this week’s class and for the rest of the season. Their academic scholarship has been revoked and they must transfer to a different school by next week. Calvin Johnson can stay.

For Homework:
1. Do not watch any college football bowl games; instead take a walk and get some fresh air.
2. Write a five page paper on whether or not the Knicks should have kept Crawford and Randolph purely to push for a low seed playoff birth.
3. Attend your school’s basketball games; school spirit creates home court advantage.

ReFLEXon of the Week of November Ninth

* The NFL is wearing the pink polka dot dunce cap. For the second time in a Chargers game this season, the officials have admitted to an error in the later part of the game. This time, the unfair loss only goes out to those gamblers and fantasy football players. Of the $100 million wagered on the game, $66 million was bet on the Chargers. Thank you instant replay!

* Those wild and crazy Colorado fans always have something extra for opposing teams. But bringing a LASER LIGHT to bother Oklahoma State quarterback Zac Robinson might have been a new low. How many times do fans have to be unruly and thrown out of games to realize their stupidity? This occurrence was not totally unpredictable considering Colorado fans are notorious for their unsportsmanlike behavior.

* ONCE UPON A TIME… The Mighty Lance Armstrong Is Afraid?

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

After three years in retirement, the seven time TOUR DE FRANCE champion is making a comeback, but is concerned about the reactions of French critics.

"There're some aggressive, angry emotions. If you believe what you read, my personal safety could be in jeopardy.”

Just the fact that Armstrong may chose not to ride in the ’09 Tour is ridiculous. That his COMPETITORS think they can truly feel like they are the best if they have not competed against the best is absurd. And most definitely, Lance Armstrong has proven himself to be the best.

The hatred toward the 37 year old Lance proves the lack of sportsmanship within the sport. For many of these angered athletes, this man was their role model, paving the way for future cyclists.

And to Lance, if he really thought his competitors would welcome him back with open arms, then he really is doped.

…Here's an idea: Lets all join in prayer for Lance Armstrong’s safety...

Not only does The Tour have its own police force guarding the route to ensure the riders’ safety, but the French police have always paid particular attention to the top cyclists during each race.

Lance claims to be in great shape and feels that the motivation to bring him an eighth jersey.

“The motivation of 2008 feels like the motivation of 1999. I was back from cancer then. I had the motivation of vengeance because nobody wanted me or believed in me.”

For lance to QUIT now would be against everything he has preached. Is he really going to allow a bunch of Frenchmen run him out of another yellow jersey? I think not!

* It’s a good thing Lance isn’t biking through Southern California. The extremely dry conditions, strong winds and high temperatures have expanded three separate FOREST FIRES in the Los Angeles area.

* Our prayers go out to Matt Schaub. Schaub’s knee injury recovery is taking longer than previously expected. Texans’ quarterback has been out for two weeks with an injured medial collateral ligament. Jared Allen was fined $50,000 for multiple below-the-knee hits to Schaub during a November 2 game.

Can You Pass the Test?

The following questions are provided by Wonderlic, Inc - the company in charge of creating the infamous "Wonderlic Test" which is basically the SAT for athletes. Before I give you my opinion on such a test and the mental capacity of athletes, here are some questions that you all should try. Set a timer for 4 minutes and 30 seconds and give it a go. The answers will be at the bottom...

1. Look at the column of numbers below. What number should come next?
   8
   4
   2
   1
   ½
   ¼
   ?



2. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one:
   1. true,
   2. false,
   3. not certain? The boy plays baseball. All baseball players wear hats. The boy wears a hat.



3. Paper sells for 21 cents per pad. What will four pads cost?



4. How many of the five pairs of items listed below are exact duplicates?
   Nieman, K.M.
   Neiman, K.M.
   Thomas, G.K.
   Thomas, C.K.
   Hoff, J.P.
   Hoff, J.P.
   Pino, L.R.
   Pina, L.R.
   Warner, T.S.
   Wanner, T.S.



5. RESENT & RESERVE Do these words 1.) have similar meanings, 2.) have contradictory meanings, 3.) mean neither the same nor opposite?



6. A train travels 20 feet in 1/5 second. At this same speed, how many feet will it travel in three seconds?



7. When rope is selling at $.10 a foot, how many feet can you buy for sixty cents?



8. The ninth month of the year is
   1. October,
   2. January,
   3. June,
   4. September,
   5. May



9. Which number in the following group of numbers represents the smallest amount?
   7
   .8
   31
   .33
   2



10. In printing an article of 48,000 words, a printer decides to use two sizes of type. Using the larger type, a printed page contains 1,800 words. Using smaller type, a page contains 2,400 words. The article is allotted 21 full pages in a magazine. How many pages must be in smaller type?



11. The hours of daylight and darkness in SEPTEMBER are nearest equal to the hours of daylight and darkness in:



12. Three individuals form a partnership and agree to divide the profits equally. X invests $9,000, Y invests $7,000, Z invests $4,000. If the profits are $4,800, how much less does X receive than if the profits were divided in proportion to the amount invested?



13. Assume the first two statements are true. Is the final one:
    1. true,
    2. false,
    3. not certain? [Statement: Tom greeted Beth. Beth greeted Dawn. Tom did not greet Dawn.]



14. A boy is 17 years old and his sister is twice as old. When the boy is 23 years old, what will be the age of his sister?

ANSWERS:

1. 1/8


2. True
   
3. 84 cents
   
4. 1
   
5. 3
   
6. 300 feet
   
7. 6 feet
   
8. September
   
9. .33
   
10. 17
    
11. March
    
12. $560
    
13. not certain
    
14. 40 years old
    

Now that you have an idea of how easy the test is, you wonder how some of the people we idol in the world of sports, perform so badly on such a test. Take for example Vince Young - one of the most flashy and athletic quarterbacks to play in college football. He scored one of the lowest possible scores you could receive on the test. Suddenly, I am not rooting for him any more. To me, you go to college and play sports as a Student-Athlete - student first, athlete second... not the other way around. I am not saying that I only root for athletes with 4.0 GPA's and outstanding SAT scores, I am merely implying that we should re-think the way that we idolize certain athletes.

Take for example another infamous athlete... Adam "Pac-Man" Jones.

Is Mr. Jones a model for all citizens to emulate? Absolutely not. One of the most exciting players to watch on the football fields? Hell yeah! Should he get paid a multi-million dollar contract after paralyzing a strip club owner and turning in a sub-par wonderlic score? Not in a million years...

I'm not here to say that the Wonderlic Test should be a benchmark for how much athletes get paid, but we are the ones who are to blame for Jone's return in the NFL, not Jerry Jones, and not the Dallas Cowboys. Our excitement and love for such a player's on-field success creates momentum and a backing for a player so that he can use in "times of need". We, as fans of the game, put more fuel to the already burning fire. Just think America, if sports fans turned on Jone's like they did when Mike Vick was arrested for his dog fighting, Adam Jones would not set foot on another football field ever again. Talk about taking action.